You crazy Mexican bitch...

Posted December 11, 2007 - Okay, so I do payroll for a living and have for the last 15 years but let me just tell you that I've never in my life dealt with a angry Mexican lady like this before.

Cliff notes version is she is a ex employee that quit in 2010. In 2009 we mistakenly set up a child support order against her because the stupid state of New York child support office doesn't provide a social security number on their orders. And there are a bazillion Carlos Hernandez's in the world. Okay?

Now the money came out of her check at a rate of 216.00 per pay period for four months before she finally took it to her clinic manager's attention to which we handed this over to our corporate office to refund her. Long story short, she calls me two years later wanting her 1100.00 dollar refund.

Me: Payroll?

cmb: Hellllooooo, my name Carmeeeen and jew have some monee that belong to me. Jew use my shochal number in fraud. I need my monee sent to me.

Me: (after checking the system.) Ma'am you realize that it's been two years since that money was taken out of your check?

cmb: Who care? I no care how long it's beeeen. Peas, I need my monee.

Me: Okay, can you tell me why you haven't ask for this in the last two years?

cmb: I call jew tousend times, no answer over two year. Jew no call back, jew no answer me.

Me: This is the first time I've ever heard your name.

cmb: Jew call manager she tell jew I what need.

Me: Okay.

cmb: I call back tomorrow.

So after calling her clinic manager I find out that she was actually homeless when she interviewed to stick needles in people and not only did we hire her off the street, we offered her 10,000.00 dollar sign on bonus. Of which she has collected 7500.00. The contract states that if she leaves before two years of service are completed, she owes it back. Well guess what little kiddos, chick quit just shy 2 months of two years. And then she assaulted her clinic manager and had to be taken out of the clinic by the help of some male nurse clinic bouncers. In other words, she is bat shit crazy. Which is exactly why she called the very next day.

Me: Payroll

cmb: Hellllooooo, Tiiiiinnnnnaaaaa do jew got my monee?

Me: Um, no. Do you got our monee? We paid you 7500.00 dollars and you quit before you're two years was up. So after we deduct what we owe you. You need to send us a monee order for 6400.00 dollars. How does that sound?

cmb: What jew talking bout? I no get monee from jew.

Me: Really? Cause we wrote you a 2500.00 dollar check the day after we hired you so you could get an apartment, then we paid you 2500.00 two more times of the last year and a half. Does any of that jog your memory?

cmb: Donde este blah, blah, blah......

She went stupid with some Spanish talking, threw the phone down, then I had to explain the whole shit over again to her friend who didn't speaka much better than she did. And I'll have you know we sent this on to our legal department and these dillholes wrote her a check for the 1100.00. Then turned around and sued her for the 7500.00 dollars cause as they saw it they were two separate issues....okay, it's your money.

I just can't believe some of the damn phone calls I get, I'll share some more as they come down the line.